My Greatest Fear

It's unfortunate.

It's devastating. It's sad. 

But as I sink looking for a gasp of air. 

I realize it is water I am injecting. 

Slowly dissipating. Wallowing in my chaotic.

One last time. One last gulp. 

My greatest fear. 

Not drowning. 

Loving.

S.K.

Hey Jason

Hey Jason
You remember the the first time we met
I was coming off shift and you were arming up
Fresh just back from overseas
You asked who I was and
I defiantly said who are you
You said hey ass hole respect my rank
With a smiley smirk that only ass holes have
I knew right there I liked you
Hey Jason
You remember when you punched me in the ear
At that dive bar in Peoria all because
I gave you girlfriend advice
I was wrong
Hey Jason
You remember running in my dorm room
In Saudi Arabia in your underwear
Because you heard me yell German porn
Hey Jason
You remember you teaching me to
Ride your dirtbike the same day I taught you
To ride my Harley Davidson
Hey Jason
You didn't know this but that house you had
Built in El Mirage well I peed on the dirt in the
Middle of the night right where the door went
Hey Jason
I miss the fart room
HEY JASON
COME BACK
I'VE NEVER BEEN THE SAME
I NEVER WILL

These Are My Tears

These are my tears
They are all that I have
Formed from my brain
Channeled from my heart
They flow symbolically
With no judgement
With no thought of deceit
They mean no harm
They come
They go
At any moment
In any situation
These are my tears
They are all that I have
They have questions
They have dreams
They have no limitations
There are no lengths they will not go
To prove themselves
To exude only the purest form of emotion
The emotion of the only thing that matters
The infinite truth of love
These are my tears
And they are all that I have

Invisible

You are there in plain sight
Visible for all to see
Vibrant in color
Yet vague in demeanor
Movements feel real
Speech is monotone
A visceral contrast from before to now
Eyes see everything
All angles and all perspectives
Ears hear all the rhetoric
From all directions and in all languages
Cerebral lyrics digested and diagnosed
Scents of all kinds roam through the smoke
I'm here
Aren't I
A solemn sadness hovers over gestation
Inevitable
The sounds of merriment no longer heard
Blindness settles in
And feels comfortable
It waits for completion of its mission
Orders were given
A slow dissipation
No urgency
Time for denial
Time for self suffocating
Grasping for one last stronghold
But the heart is not enough
No one sees me
The undeniable truth sets in
Hey you
Your invisible

Disappear

Tell me about those days, when you stood on a thin line between dreams and reality, watching it  disappear slowly. All of a sudden there is no difference between both. And you get tore apart into nothingness. Where your mind always asked you to be awake, scared of being haunted by dreams and your heart asked you always to fall asleep, to escape from the hands of reality, because it haunted you too. The madness of it all. Constant consummation of goodness destroyed. Failures rise up until your nothingness concludes within your body. Tears are real in both states of mind. There is only one option. Disappear.

Man's Downfall

The inevitable downfall of man. A man with imperfections. A man misunderstood at times but perfectly clear most times. A man with flaws, but ultimate kindness. A Cancer full of possibilities. A man self aware of his idiosyncrasies, yet willing to adapt to any habitat. A man that smiles because it's his being. But a man with sadness because we are all human. A man confused. A man apart. Unsatisfying and no regrets. Love of life but broken. A man who sees his purpose. A man who lives. A man who makes others better. Mostly. But not enough. A man of sacrifice. A man with a hole. Not in his heart, but his soul. An old vet with vitality. But vitality currently dim. A man with tears. A man with joy. A man with understanding. A man with goodness. A man on a path who had light, but no longer. A man in darkness. A man who had fallen. But a man who will get back up. A man mistreated unjustified, but a man with forgiveness infinitely. In the end there is no downfall of man. There is just a man and whether in darkness or light, man will prevail.

Untitled New Song

Working on a new song inspired by Damien Rice
Meant to be read in a slow monotone melody with a guitar.

Let me in
Only for awhile
Till I can see again

The world's not the same
Feels like hope is out the door
I want to hide
And not search anymore

Let me in
Just for a minute
So I can feel again

When is the end
How do we move forward
Towards where we should already be
I see your room
Full of white flowers
Made from your tears and love

Let me in
Not for too long
As I am lost again

The world's not the same
Feels like love is in the room
Tonight and always
Eternity is locked in the white flowers
As I lay here

Let me in
Need another moment
While I find myself