Cocaine Trees

I would like to take some time to discuss in an open forum what I saw a few weeks ago in Northern California. Cocaine Trees. Now you will not hear about these on the news or will you be able to use google magic this time my friends. But these trees exist. I saw them with my one eyes. For legal reasons I cannot disclose exactly where they are at or even show you up close photos of what they look like that. From my understanding these Cocaine Trees are a sole proprietorship of the McLovin Cartel. You can google that, and I will tell you Tarantino has nothing on these guys. The bloodshed you will see will make you shit out a color of feces you will not want to see ever again. I discuss Cocaine Trees with you now to assist you with the understanding of the dangers associated with finding these trees and in my case tasting these trees. The high I got was nothing short of amazing. I felt like C3PO, but with Jedi powers aka "the force". But the next day I had a rude awakening. It has taken me two weeks to recover. Thank you McLovin Cartel. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Heed this warning followers: If you see a Cocaine Tree, get the fuck out of dodge.

A message from the Waves

We do not like what is going on in this world. I know we are to blame for Japan, but to be fair the earthquake started it. We do not back down ever. We are beautiful, but we are not weak. But now we have war. Again. We do not believe in the Mayan cryptic code, but when push comes to shove, we will do what we must to survive. We love the people of this world, but the signs are there. Enjoy your life. Live. Laugh. Share. Love. Time is running out.

Extra Extra Hear All a-bout it.

I have a secret......................................................................................Its good..............................................................OMG...............................................Your world will be rocked..................................................fucking rocked...............


Brought to you by:
Pepto Bismo.

Eye Witness

I thought it was dead. I thought it was over. Social media. Charlie Sheen. The Russians. Red Dawn. Shaq vs Kobe. And dont forget Ja Rule. But I saw it. I saw two lovers in love.

The way they looked into each others glass eyes. The way they glistened with each suttle movement. It was like all of their dreams had come true. They accepted each other unconditionally and with no judgement. They felt only love for each other. They knew of only one way to communicate. And no matter what each their age, they just loved. This day I witnessed lovers in love. And I am a better man for seeing it.

I dont know much about these lovers. One was born in 1999 and the other in 1996. One was from Northern California and the other from France. What I do know is that they were beautiful together. Thank you lovers. Thank you for giving the world hope. That love does exist. That we all are capable of love. That with love all things are possible. And that with love the world is a better place. I witnessed lovers in love. And life will never be the same.

Bromance gone wild

Step 1: Take friend on an airplane.
Step 2: Have pilot make believe plane is crashing.
Step 3: Have friend jump off plane with parachute.
Step 4: Friend will swim to nearby Island.
Step 5: Friend reaches Island and Wild Party ensues full of hookers and midgets.
Step 6: Friend passes out and everyone leaves.
Step 7: Friend awakes all alone.
Step 8: Friend commits suicide.

The unconditional downFall of man

"This is your life and its ending one minute at at time"
A narrator said this in Fight Club and never have multiple words sounded so real. Each minute elapses and Men are never any closer to understanding why we fail and why we fall. After multiple case studies and years of observations the only conclusive evidence ever glimpsed is WOMEN. Its sad as just the other day I witnessed the demise of a great man to that of the jezebelian ways of WOMEN. His mind was corrupted like that of a hard drive when infected with a trojan virus. His need to make peace and his choice to please drove a man mad. I saw it coming. I did nothing. But in this case I take no responsibility for a man actions. I take no responsibility for the unconditional downfall of Man. On this day I take solace in understanding that Man will fail and Man will fall. Its the natural course of the unidentifiable secret of life. Bon Voyage Man. Bon Voyage.

A conversation with Robert

"I had a lover's quarrel with the world." Robert Frost
A lover's quarrel? You mean a fight with your lover of the world. Did she stab you in the thorax? With a knife or shank? Your still alive did it not hurt? Do you have insurance?
And why the world. Is she from New Jersey? I mean what the fuck is going on with this lover's quarrel. Did you cheat on your lover of the world? Did she cheat on you with a black midget? Did she use her teeth? Robert dont you know that a quarrel is ammo for a crossbow? Was it even a quarrel Robert? Could it have been a mere commotion? A disagreement maybe? Or was it a battle? A caterwaul even? Even so it seems to me that your lover's quarrel with the world was not as epic as you made it out to be. I feel lied to Robert. I feel like you took my only dollar and bought a one way ticket to fuck you.
Either way I now have a lover's quarrel with the world.