Its a feeling felt like never before
An eternity.
Its like when the world spins and each moment of life gives out
A melodic glimmer of hope.
Like when a friend holds your hand when your scared
And all the worlds problems disappear.
Its like when the sun rises and the birds chirp
And for a brief moment you feel as if this could be Heaven.
Its a feeling felt like never before
An eternity of love.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
From Soledad with Love Part 1
Preface:
I would like to start sharing correspondence from Soledad to Soledad from the very beginning to the very end when this story is told. It had been years since I had heard from Erik, but he was always on my mind. You see I don't have alot of friends and for good reason. I don't want too. I choose this. But through my lifetime up to this point I have come across many influential people. One of them is dead. More than a few of them are alive. Some of them don't even know what they mean to me or did mean to me or even will mean to me one day. Again my choice. For what I am and for what I have done, I choose to save a mans life. I choose to open up and share my life. For maybe on this journey it is I who needs to be saved. Knowing this I move forward as there is no other direction to go. As I read and reread these letters and think about the conversations and the interviews thus far, I am reminded of a quote:
When you get those rare moments of clarity, those flashes when the universe makes sense, you try desperately to hold on to them. They are the life boats for the darker times, when the vastness of it all, the incomprehensible nature of life is completely illusive.
Marc,
Great to hear or read from you. Our friendship means alot to me, I hope some of what my mom explained to you gives reason to my irrationality over the past decade. I get sick to my stomach reflecting upon my erratic conversations and attempts to see/talk to you. The pangs of regret reverberate from my past into my present. Saying this on paper does not alleviate the pain, but the hope of your friendship does. I lost something our senior year of high school. I didn't lose it, I gave it away. Our friendship. You are the best friend of my life, neither before I met you or after had there been anyone I've let in and I cant wait for it to continue.
Tell me how you are doing? What you are doing? Your letter eluded to concern, but of what, I'm in the dark. I hope you are OK, but this place gives me plenty of time to worry. I want to know what you are going through and why it is happening. As soon as I or you learn of the approval to visit you can set up an appointment and we can sit and talk. Also you could get a weekday visit, but this is through glass. Your schedule sounds hectic. Whatever works best would be best for me.
It is not that I want my story told, although that would be a pretty awesome story, its that I want a comparison told. CJ Wilson (texas rangers) and I went to Santa Ana College and he pitched in the World Series last year and I watched from prison. I want a comparative as to why I went my way and he went his. It would be a great tool for kids/college aged ballplayers to not go my way but to choose his. I would love for you and only you to put this together. That is if you think it will work, if not then you make some recommendations and we will go that route as I trust you. I need your phone number. write me and I will call.
Love You, Erik.
As I continue to gain knowledge and work to help this mans appeal process as well as tell his story, I find I am constantly growing. I am appreciating more and more how important and meaningful life can be.
How I was never taught how to make correct decisions and just how imperative integrity is. How beautiful friendship can be. How a mans path can be misleading. But how a mans path is so important for the essence of that man. This journey continues and its with a calm heart, a patient mind, and a honest soul that freemen will exist.
I would like to start sharing correspondence from Soledad to Soledad from the very beginning to the very end when this story is told. It had been years since I had heard from Erik, but he was always on my mind. You see I don't have alot of friends and for good reason. I don't want too. I choose this. But through my lifetime up to this point I have come across many influential people. One of them is dead. More than a few of them are alive. Some of them don't even know what they mean to me or did mean to me or even will mean to me one day. Again my choice. For what I am and for what I have done, I choose to save a mans life. I choose to open up and share my life. For maybe on this journey it is I who needs to be saved. Knowing this I move forward as there is no other direction to go. As I read and reread these letters and think about the conversations and the interviews thus far, I am reminded of a quote:
When you get those rare moments of clarity, those flashes when the universe makes sense, you try desperately to hold on to them. They are the life boats for the darker times, when the vastness of it all, the incomprehensible nature of life is completely illusive.
Marc,
Great to hear or read from you. Our friendship means alot to me, I hope some of what my mom explained to you gives reason to my irrationality over the past decade. I get sick to my stomach reflecting upon my erratic conversations and attempts to see/talk to you. The pangs of regret reverberate from my past into my present. Saying this on paper does not alleviate the pain, but the hope of your friendship does. I lost something our senior year of high school. I didn't lose it, I gave it away. Our friendship. You are the best friend of my life, neither before I met you or after had there been anyone I've let in and I cant wait for it to continue.
Tell me how you are doing? What you are doing? Your letter eluded to concern, but of what, I'm in the dark. I hope you are OK, but this place gives me plenty of time to worry. I want to know what you are going through and why it is happening. As soon as I or you learn of the approval to visit you can set up an appointment and we can sit and talk. Also you could get a weekday visit, but this is through glass. Your schedule sounds hectic. Whatever works best would be best for me.
It is not that I want my story told, although that would be a pretty awesome story, its that I want a comparison told. CJ Wilson (texas rangers) and I went to Santa Ana College and he pitched in the World Series last year and I watched from prison. I want a comparative as to why I went my way and he went his. It would be a great tool for kids/college aged ballplayers to not go my way but to choose his. I would love for you and only you to put this together. That is if you think it will work, if not then you make some recommendations and we will go that route as I trust you. I need your phone number. write me and I will call.
Love You, Erik.
As I continue to gain knowledge and work to help this mans appeal process as well as tell his story, I find I am constantly growing. I am appreciating more and more how important and meaningful life can be.
How I was never taught how to make correct decisions and just how imperative integrity is. How beautiful friendship can be. How a mans path can be misleading. But how a mans path is so important for the essence of that man. This journey continues and its with a calm heart, a patient mind, and a honest soul that freemen will exist.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Make believe
A wild mannered being
A presence beyond the beyond
A stigmata of sorts.
A heavenly essence
A wealth of unknown
A nurturer of sorts.
A path not of this realm
A path nonetheless
A superficial moment of time.
The results scattered obliviously
The fates of souls unrested
The ending near.
A sudden spark of energy
A new found love of life
A fulfillment of sensationalism.
The world changes its course
The men become free
The peace begins.
Monday, June 20, 2011
First Sight
glamoured arrays of darkness
with
fulfillment in tiny particles of sunshine
at dusk there is a suttle hint of imperfection
and
at dawn a forbidden taste of succulence
riped with enamored emotions of lust
for
the hearts to computate compatability
to
redetermine their fates
to
redeem the supposed unredeemable
to
repair the ripple effects of sudden trauma
to
relinquish what is most desired
to
relish in imfamous revelry
to
LOVE OURSELVES FIRST
with
fulfillment in tiny particles of sunshine
at dusk there is a suttle hint of imperfection
and
at dawn a forbidden taste of succulence
riped with enamored emotions of lust
for
the hearts to computate compatability
to
redetermine their fates
to
redeem the supposed unredeemable
to
repair the ripple effects of sudden trauma
to
relinquish what is most desired
to
relish in imfamous revelry
to
LOVE OURSELVES FIRST
Friday, June 3, 2011
Rough draft minus details Part deux
Who says its a fetish? A man who has lived a fast life. A woman who stood by him with their baby. Drugs. Poker. Lifestyle. Followed by pain. Agony. Withdrawals. And a cell. This man had addictions. Women. Their clothing. Panties. Bras. Leather. Lingerie. Frederick's of Hollywood was not sufficient. The woman left this man with his addictions. She met a richer man whom took the little girl and made her his. He had alot of money. And that is exactly what she wanted. A beautiful woman got what she wanted. But at what expense. This man had a problem. He owed thousands in casino debt with the wrong people. I even helped one time with wired money. Little did I know. His Cosby like family tried to help. They sent him to a plethora of times to rehab. And no not at the Hard Rock. Not that stupid reality shit you all watch. He only escaped. His parents spent thousands and thousands of dollars. Even sold their company to help with the debt. He escaped. He opened credit cards in his parents name to support his addictions. All of them. He stole. This man needed help. His friends abandoned him. Yes the same ones whom used him for all those wild times in Vegas and Hollywood. Addiction. He found help with crack head girlfriends, one of them whom I met. Wow. I wouldn't have touched her with your.....well you get it. In 2004 he was caught breaking into a friends house. A friends house whom he dated. Whom I dated. She was a doll. Her parents were good people. But he had broken into their house a few times. For what? money? items to sell for drugs? NOPE. For lingerie. bras. panties. the works. AND he wore these items. Yes. He got butt naked and put on these clothes. His parents had suspected. After all he had dozens of items hidden in his room. But no one wanted to whistle blow? Its strange. Its weird. I cant find a single thing on google. But this fact is important. Its comes into play now. It could save his life. It could reunite him with his daughter. A crime in 2004. A conviction of a different crime in 2010. Prison. 16 years for attempted rape. Attempted? How bout no rape. Who says its a fetish?
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Rough Draft Minus the Details Part 1
A man has a child at an early age. He is madly in love with his high school sweetheart. She is blonde has no mother, a drunk father and is starved for attention. She is gorgeous and every boy wants her in the school yard. She gets breast implants. The young man spoils her with gifts and labors of love. Its a romance that has Fabio on the cover. The rumors of wild sex everywhere run rampant. I once heard a lamp was broken at a popular hotel. Wow. She does not leave his side for a long time. They are a match made in heaven.
He is the coolest guy in school. Starting quarterback, starting catcher on the varsity squad, smartest kid in class, good looking and has a family much like the Cosby's. Only white. He is the prototypical all american. He is from Pennsylvania. He is on the right track. And she is right by his side. They have a child at the age of 20. She is 18. Fake boobies. A plethora of sex. Equals procreation. He drops out of college to study and train for Hollywood Squares. You know the trivia game show thats been around for centuries. I think the first winner was a Viking, before they perished due to the Ice Age. He makes the cut. He wins day 1. He wins day 2. He wins day 3. He wins day 4. He wins day 5. He wins the entire week and over 100,000 dollars. He also wins trips around the world and a few cars. He is asked to return to Hollywood squares for a Champions week and continues the winning streak. More money more problems. You will find his mug on the HS website. He is the one that looks like Jason Bourne. Seriously. Addiction is a disease. And this story has 4 addictions in 1. First came the drugs. He would throw parties in very expensive suites in Las Vegas and in Hollywood with the money won. She would accompany him. The child would stay at his parents. A baby. Within these parties were large amounts of cocaine. And alcohol. Than extravagant trips. And more cocaine. Second came the gambling. Poker. Hold em from Texas. And just like that all the money was gone. All of it. In total over a quarter of a million dollars. Poof. Gone. Like something out of Hogwarts. A man had a child at an early age.
TO BE CONTINUED.
He is the coolest guy in school. Starting quarterback, starting catcher on the varsity squad, smartest kid in class, good looking and has a family much like the Cosby's. Only white. He is the prototypical all american. He is from Pennsylvania. He is on the right track. And she is right by his side. They have a child at the age of 20. She is 18. Fake boobies. A plethora of sex. Equals procreation. He drops out of college to study and train for Hollywood Squares. You know the trivia game show thats been around for centuries. I think the first winner was a Viking, before they perished due to the Ice Age. He makes the cut. He wins day 1. He wins day 2. He wins day 3. He wins day 4. He wins day 5. He wins the entire week and over 100,000 dollars. He also wins trips around the world and a few cars. He is asked to return to Hollywood squares for a Champions week and continues the winning streak. More money more problems. You will find his mug on the HS website. He is the one that looks like Jason Bourne. Seriously. Addiction is a disease. And this story has 4 addictions in 1. First came the drugs. He would throw parties in very expensive suites in Las Vegas and in Hollywood with the money won. She would accompany him. The child would stay at his parents. A baby. Within these parties were large amounts of cocaine. And alcohol. Than extravagant trips. And more cocaine. Second came the gambling. Poker. Hold em from Texas. And just like that all the money was gone. All of it. In total over a quarter of a million dollars. Poof. Gone. Like something out of Hogwarts. A man had a child at an early age.
TO BE CONTINUED.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Day 1
There is a reason why things happen. There is always a reason. Deceit, crime, vengeance, hate never wins. It only brings about pain and a lost soul. Can people be rehabilitated? I feel like the answer is YES, but one can never be sure. There has to be trust. There has to be a reason to change and be better. Things happen because we cause them too. Some for the wrong reason, yet some for the right reasons. An example would be a dog shitting on a carpet. The dog is asking for help. WE just have to see it. Feel it. Believe in it. Hold it. Love it. It is with this pretext that I want to bring up a story that I am working on. A man. A friend. A person who saved my life years ago and whos calling for me to help his life NOW, I HEAR LOUD AND CLEAR. You know humans are not perfect. We err with pure intent at times. WE reach rock bottom only to realize we are not alone. We CAN rehabilitate. WE can love again. We are not lost. We are found. WE have a god. Its time we self sacrifice. We touch others. I dont have all the answers. I cannot see the future. But I have an opportunity to share a story. This posting will serve as my contractual agreement. My treaty that I want in. That I have been punished long enough. That the hurt I created can bring good. That I ACCCEPT the challenge. No matter where we are in life, there is good to be done. Some call this the Lords work. And I am now a soldier. Again.
I apologize to everyone in this world. And with that I bring you a story. Now it will take time to tell. I will use this as my canvas. My Notes. My perspective. My reality. My path for righteousness. My way to get to heaven. There are alot of things to live for and I know what they are for me. But this mission is something I must do. If I stand for anything it will be known. This is not a joke. This is reality. This is not about me. This is about an opportunity. An opportunity to save a mans life.
THE STORY BEGINS.
I apologize to everyone in this world. And with that I bring you a story. Now it will take time to tell. I will use this as my canvas. My Notes. My perspective. My reality. My path for righteousness. My way to get to heaven. There are alot of things to live for and I know what they are for me. But this mission is something I must do. If I stand for anything it will be known. This is not a joke. This is reality. This is not about me. This is about an opportunity. An opportunity to save a mans life.
THE STORY BEGINS.
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