My Query Today

I just heard this quote.
“A puff of kif in the morning makes a man as strong as 1,000 camels in the courtyard.”

Could this possibly be true?

Your thoughts?

Hate Crimes

I witnessed a hate crime. And it was towards me. But why? Because I am of Mexican descent. Because I ride a motorcycle? Because I use Hempz? Is it due to the fact I never fully fill up my car with gasoline? Or is it because I fly kites? Did this heinous act occur because of my love for Thundercats? Or was it a hit? Am I a wanted man? Is the fate of the USA in my hands and terrorists want me killed? Am I a secret spy and have lost my memory? Why was a hate crime committed against me? Why? I mean this hate crime was vile. Nasty even. The deviants that constructed this vulgarity against me had to be the worst of the worst. They had to be monsters. One of them had to be named something like "Agent 55" and maybe "Dr. Smoke Monster." It may take me years to recover. What these haters did was out of pure remorse for humanity. Pure remorse for me. Are you ready for the horrific details of this hate crime? THIS IS NOT FOR THE WEAK STOMACHED. These assassins took out my laundry which were drying in a 75 minute cycle and put their laundry in instead. They stole my $1.75. Stole it. And not once but twice. They did this to two of my dryers. These hitmen than had the audacity to put my laundry back in as if nothing ever happened. How much hate do you have to have in your heart to do this criminal act. And again what did I do? Who hired you?
The world is a sad sad place.

Secret Revealed

Its time for me to confess. This is embarrassing too. I absolutely positively with no qualms or doubts love JUSTIN BIEBER. There I said it. Happy now. I have dreams about the kid ok. I love his music. I sing his tunes in the shower. I intentionally google him to get all the latest updates. I follow him on twitter and facebook. I have his pictures on all of my backgrounds. I have recently looked into changing my name to Bieber. I just simply love the lad alright, Not in a Law and Order SVU kind of way, but more in a platonic infatuation for the kids talents. I mean those moves. That voice. And I am not a fan of Canadians. I mean I hate the Toronto Raptors. And when the Bills play in Canada. Come on man. Thank you NFL lock out. But not to worry skeptical judge mentalists, I had this same man crush with Justin Timberlake. Maybe its a Justin thing. Either way it doesn't matter. I HAVE BIEBER FEVER.

Its Coming!

"Bartender I will have another."

 No, not True Blood fang bangers, but instead Canna Cola. Oh yes, move over "special brownies, and hello soda pot. Marijuana soda will be hitting dispensaries in Colorado and soon to your local California weed convenient stores. As fantastic as this news is, envision our world with soda pot machines in every sleezy motel and in every five star hotel. Think of the marketing we will see during each commercial break during the CFL. I say CFL as the NFL may not exist in the future, but I digress. Commercials with hot babes in bikinis drinking Orange Kush singing Redemption Song on a beautiful sandy beach followed by Jared from Subway enticing us with a three dollar footlong and an extra large Doc Weed (Dr. Pepper people). Companies will pay millions to advertise King Kong drinking a Grape Ape or even a stoner Curious George drinking the same beverage but with a banana twist. I can picture Drake in a commercial promoting Sour Diesel much like he did for Sprite only with a much catchier song that plays on every radio station in every city every minute of each day. Oh wait. Never mind. What about the Mexican population? These drinks, Canna Cola, look like Mexican soda pop known famously from the isles every Anglo skips at the grocery stores, Jarritos. Not only will Jarritos make a profit due to stoners nationwide confusing the two, but can also get into the market by branding their own mexican marijuana soda Marijarritos. Mexican Cartels you have my permission, but godspeed, you may be out of a job soon.  

Cocaine Trees

I would like to take some time to discuss in an open forum what I saw a few weeks ago in Northern California. Cocaine Trees. Now you will not hear about these on the news or will you be able to use google magic this time my friends. But these trees exist. I saw them with my one eyes. For legal reasons I cannot disclose exactly where they are at or even show you up close photos of what they look like that. From my understanding these Cocaine Trees are a sole proprietorship of the McLovin Cartel. You can google that, and I will tell you Tarantino has nothing on these guys. The bloodshed you will see will make you shit out a color of feces you will not want to see ever again. I discuss Cocaine Trees with you now to assist you with the understanding of the dangers associated with finding these trees and in my case tasting these trees. The high I got was nothing short of amazing. I felt like C3PO, but with Jedi powers aka "the force". But the next day I had a rude awakening. It has taken me two weeks to recover. Thank you McLovin Cartel. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Heed this warning followers: If you see a Cocaine Tree, get the fuck out of dodge.

A message from the Waves

We do not like what is going on in this world. I know we are to blame for Japan, but to be fair the earthquake started it. We do not back down ever. We are beautiful, but we are not weak. But now we have war. Again. We do not believe in the Mayan cryptic code, but when push comes to shove, we will do what we must to survive. We love the people of this world, but the signs are there. Enjoy your life. Live. Laugh. Share. Love. Time is running out.

Extra Extra Hear All a-bout it.

I have a secret......................................................................................Its good..............................................................OMG...............................................Your world will be rocked..................................................fucking rocked...............


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Pepto Bismo.