Fuck the Plunger

Does anyone else get embarrassed when buying or borrowing a toilet plunger? I mean everyone shits right? Why did I just feel embarrassed? I mean who gives two or three fucks? Right? Damn. I feel like I can talk, correctly, about the relevance of the Mayan Calendar to the end of the world in 2012 with repeated episodes of Spongebob Squarepants, but this plunger issue baffles me. I mean I felt like eyeballs were all watching me through looking glasses as I paced down Mexican Melrose Place. I don't even know the proper protocol of "full disclosure" when purchasing one. Who the fuck even knows about borrowing. Do you double bag it when buying and bringing to the home of where this instrument I hold in my hand will brew. Is it paper or plastic? Are there special bags maybe? And when borrowing, how does one ask? "Excuse me Jaime, can I use that instrument you usually use to play with your own shit with?" Fuck that shit. Not me. Not ever. Think of all them gosh damn judgements. Then say fuck it and go play with your shit.