A simple reflection before a meeting.
For the future unknown could bring a beating.
The times were grand. But grand used when said as grandiose.
The times were tough. But only when I was told adios.
There would be no more song and dance.
Only interaction via happenstance.
It occurred on a beautiful day full of surprises.
And by the gods it could have lasted till the sunrises.
For in this world we need to clear what is the perception.
We need to live honest and with no deception.
It is not an easy task much like Inception.
But in the end there is always a warm loving reception.
The lights were dim the room was darkness.
If regicide, than death by sadness.
But what in fact it was the contrary.
The proof is me as I write my Bradbury.
In fact it was better than a cheesecake, strawberry.
The talk was hard, the talk was long.
Its true I tell you I was wrong.
Than came humor and remembrance of life's rewards.
And a decision of sorts to sheath our swords.
All in all it was a day of all days.
A new beginning some would says.
It takes me to an ocean to swims with rays.
To reflect alone and change my ways.
I ask you all to live today.
I ask you all to you portray.
I ask you all to never runaway.
I ask you all to be free one day.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Solace
A game. For some vindication. For others just a body with no soul. I walk into the mouth of madness. Alone, but not afraid. Afraid, but not alone. 213 is with me. We know this is part of the process. We understand it's the path and it will not define us, but its the right thing to do. The eye of the storm now. All impulses say to run. We are steadfast. Some see a body with no soul. Others seek vindication. But its just a game. And the best hand wins.
I watch. The day is abnormal. Almost like I don't belong. But I try. Not that anyone deserves anything in this life, but I give it anyway. A quaint verification. A subtle depiction. Closure. I still don't belong. The day is still abnormal. I continue to watch.
I taste. The sun is setting. Words are told in prose form. Sentences are constructed so that the deeper meaning is understood. A sip. More words. Now a gulp. I have a realization. But it is one I have had many times. People are just searching. And I pray for them. I pray to every god. I hope their search ends one day. Words are told in prose form. The sun has set. The taste is succulent.
It's dark. A new location. More closure. I find myself right where I want to be. On the brink of rescue. Even when I am worth nothing, I see the beauty in resilience. Now a smoke. A calming. A flask. A swig. An uncontrollable urge to save the world. Some humor. A unique but always welcomed feeling of euphoria. Closure. A new location. It's still dark.
I drive. I reflect. I acknowledge. It's a funny thing to have remorse. I am intrigued by the act of forgiveness. I feel hope. I feel like no more kids are starving and there is no more war in the world. I am wrong, but this feeling is intense. I remember I must do more for this world. Its a calling. I acknowledge. I reflect. I drive.
It's called a game. But it's much closer to life than people realize. The highs. The lows. The trials. The tribulations. The triumphs. At times angels play trumpets from the heavens and also at times the flames from the depths of hell smother your body. But to play the game the right way is the key. To play life the right way is the path. There will always be winners. There will always be losers. On this night I was a winner and a loser. And when I laid my head down for rest, I knew I played the game the right way.
I watch. The day is abnormal. Almost like I don't belong. But I try. Not that anyone deserves anything in this life, but I give it anyway. A quaint verification. A subtle depiction. Closure. I still don't belong. The day is still abnormal. I continue to watch.
I taste. The sun is setting. Words are told in prose form. Sentences are constructed so that the deeper meaning is understood. A sip. More words. Now a gulp. I have a realization. But it is one I have had many times. People are just searching. And I pray for them. I pray to every god. I hope their search ends one day. Words are told in prose form. The sun has set. The taste is succulent.
It's dark. A new location. More closure. I find myself right where I want to be. On the brink of rescue. Even when I am worth nothing, I see the beauty in resilience. Now a smoke. A calming. A flask. A swig. An uncontrollable urge to save the world. Some humor. A unique but always welcomed feeling of euphoria. Closure. A new location. It's still dark.
I drive. I reflect. I acknowledge. It's a funny thing to have remorse. I am intrigued by the act of forgiveness. I feel hope. I feel like no more kids are starving and there is no more war in the world. I am wrong, but this feeling is intense. I remember I must do more for this world. Its a calling. I acknowledge. I reflect. I drive.
It's called a game. But it's much closer to life than people realize. The highs. The lows. The trials. The tribulations. The triumphs. At times angels play trumpets from the heavens and also at times the flames from the depths of hell smother your body. But to play the game the right way is the key. To play life the right way is the path. There will always be winners. There will always be losers. On this night I was a winner and a loser. And when I laid my head down for rest, I knew I played the game the right way.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Eternity
Its a feeling felt like never before
An eternity.
Its like when the world spins and each moment of life gives out
A melodic glimmer of hope.
Like when a friend holds your hand when your scared
And all the worlds problems disappear.
Its like when the sun rises and the birds chirp
And for a brief moment you feel as if this could be Heaven.
Its a feeling felt like never before
An eternity of love.
An eternity.
Its like when the world spins and each moment of life gives out
A melodic glimmer of hope.
Like when a friend holds your hand when your scared
And all the worlds problems disappear.
Its like when the sun rises and the birds chirp
And for a brief moment you feel as if this could be Heaven.
Its a feeling felt like never before
An eternity of love.
Friday, June 24, 2011
From Soledad with Love Part 1
Preface:
I would like to start sharing correspondence from Soledad to Soledad from the very beginning to the very end when this story is told. It had been years since I had heard from Erik, but he was always on my mind. You see I don't have alot of friends and for good reason. I don't want too. I choose this. But through my lifetime up to this point I have come across many influential people. One of them is dead. More than a few of them are alive. Some of them don't even know what they mean to me or did mean to me or even will mean to me one day. Again my choice. For what I am and for what I have done, I choose to save a mans life. I choose to open up and share my life. For maybe on this journey it is I who needs to be saved. Knowing this I move forward as there is no other direction to go. As I read and reread these letters and think about the conversations and the interviews thus far, I am reminded of a quote:
When you get those rare moments of clarity, those flashes when the universe makes sense, you try desperately to hold on to them. They are the life boats for the darker times, when the vastness of it all, the incomprehensible nature of life is completely illusive.
Marc,
Great to hear or read from you. Our friendship means alot to me, I hope some of what my mom explained to you gives reason to my irrationality over the past decade. I get sick to my stomach reflecting upon my erratic conversations and attempts to see/talk to you. The pangs of regret reverberate from my past into my present. Saying this on paper does not alleviate the pain, but the hope of your friendship does. I lost something our senior year of high school. I didn't lose it, I gave it away. Our friendship. You are the best friend of my life, neither before I met you or after had there been anyone I've let in and I cant wait for it to continue.
Tell me how you are doing? What you are doing? Your letter eluded to concern, but of what, I'm in the dark. I hope you are OK, but this place gives me plenty of time to worry. I want to know what you are going through and why it is happening. As soon as I or you learn of the approval to visit you can set up an appointment and we can sit and talk. Also you could get a weekday visit, but this is through glass. Your schedule sounds hectic. Whatever works best would be best for me.
It is not that I want my story told, although that would be a pretty awesome story, its that I want a comparison told. CJ Wilson (texas rangers) and I went to Santa Ana College and he pitched in the World Series last year and I watched from prison. I want a comparative as to why I went my way and he went his. It would be a great tool for kids/college aged ballplayers to not go my way but to choose his. I would love for you and only you to put this together. That is if you think it will work, if not then you make some recommendations and we will go that route as I trust you. I need your phone number. write me and I will call.
Love You, Erik.
As I continue to gain knowledge and work to help this mans appeal process as well as tell his story, I find I am constantly growing. I am appreciating more and more how important and meaningful life can be.
How I was never taught how to make correct decisions and just how imperative integrity is. How beautiful friendship can be. How a mans path can be misleading. But how a mans path is so important for the essence of that man. This journey continues and its with a calm heart, a patient mind, and a honest soul that freemen will exist.
I would like to start sharing correspondence from Soledad to Soledad from the very beginning to the very end when this story is told. It had been years since I had heard from Erik, but he was always on my mind. You see I don't have alot of friends and for good reason. I don't want too. I choose this. But through my lifetime up to this point I have come across many influential people. One of them is dead. More than a few of them are alive. Some of them don't even know what they mean to me or did mean to me or even will mean to me one day. Again my choice. For what I am and for what I have done, I choose to save a mans life. I choose to open up and share my life. For maybe on this journey it is I who needs to be saved. Knowing this I move forward as there is no other direction to go. As I read and reread these letters and think about the conversations and the interviews thus far, I am reminded of a quote:
When you get those rare moments of clarity, those flashes when the universe makes sense, you try desperately to hold on to them. They are the life boats for the darker times, when the vastness of it all, the incomprehensible nature of life is completely illusive.
Marc,
Great to hear or read from you. Our friendship means alot to me, I hope some of what my mom explained to you gives reason to my irrationality over the past decade. I get sick to my stomach reflecting upon my erratic conversations and attempts to see/talk to you. The pangs of regret reverberate from my past into my present. Saying this on paper does not alleviate the pain, but the hope of your friendship does. I lost something our senior year of high school. I didn't lose it, I gave it away. Our friendship. You are the best friend of my life, neither before I met you or after had there been anyone I've let in and I cant wait for it to continue.
Tell me how you are doing? What you are doing? Your letter eluded to concern, but of what, I'm in the dark. I hope you are OK, but this place gives me plenty of time to worry. I want to know what you are going through and why it is happening. As soon as I or you learn of the approval to visit you can set up an appointment and we can sit and talk. Also you could get a weekday visit, but this is through glass. Your schedule sounds hectic. Whatever works best would be best for me.
It is not that I want my story told, although that would be a pretty awesome story, its that I want a comparison told. CJ Wilson (texas rangers) and I went to Santa Ana College and he pitched in the World Series last year and I watched from prison. I want a comparative as to why I went my way and he went his. It would be a great tool for kids/college aged ballplayers to not go my way but to choose his. I would love for you and only you to put this together. That is if you think it will work, if not then you make some recommendations and we will go that route as I trust you. I need your phone number. write me and I will call.
Love You, Erik.
As I continue to gain knowledge and work to help this mans appeal process as well as tell his story, I find I am constantly growing. I am appreciating more and more how important and meaningful life can be.
How I was never taught how to make correct decisions and just how imperative integrity is. How beautiful friendship can be. How a mans path can be misleading. But how a mans path is so important for the essence of that man. This journey continues and its with a calm heart, a patient mind, and a honest soul that freemen will exist.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Make believe
A wild mannered being
A presence beyond the beyond
A stigmata of sorts.
A heavenly essence
A wealth of unknown
A nurturer of sorts.
A path not of this realm
A path nonetheless
A superficial moment of time.
The results scattered obliviously
The fates of souls unrested
The ending near.
A sudden spark of energy
A new found love of life
A fulfillment of sensationalism.
The world changes its course
The men become free
The peace begins.
Monday, June 20, 2011
First Sight
glamoured arrays of darkness
with
fulfillment in tiny particles of sunshine
at dusk there is a suttle hint of imperfection
and
at dawn a forbidden taste of succulence
riped with enamored emotions of lust
for
the hearts to computate compatability
to
redetermine their fates
to
redeem the supposed unredeemable
to
repair the ripple effects of sudden trauma
to
relinquish what is most desired
to
relish in imfamous revelry
to
LOVE OURSELVES FIRST
with
fulfillment in tiny particles of sunshine
at dusk there is a suttle hint of imperfection
and
at dawn a forbidden taste of succulence
riped with enamored emotions of lust
for
the hearts to computate compatability
to
redetermine their fates
to
redeem the supposed unredeemable
to
repair the ripple effects of sudden trauma
to
relinquish what is most desired
to
relish in imfamous revelry
to
LOVE OURSELVES FIRST
Friday, June 3, 2011
Rough draft minus details Part deux
Who says its a fetish? A man who has lived a fast life. A woman who stood by him with their baby. Drugs. Poker. Lifestyle. Followed by pain. Agony. Withdrawals. And a cell. This man had addictions. Women. Their clothing. Panties. Bras. Leather. Lingerie. Frederick's of Hollywood was not sufficient. The woman left this man with his addictions. She met a richer man whom took the little girl and made her his. He had alot of money. And that is exactly what she wanted. A beautiful woman got what she wanted. But at what expense. This man had a problem. He owed thousands in casino debt with the wrong people. I even helped one time with wired money. Little did I know. His Cosby like family tried to help. They sent him to a plethora of times to rehab. And no not at the Hard Rock. Not that stupid reality shit you all watch. He only escaped. His parents spent thousands and thousands of dollars. Even sold their company to help with the debt. He escaped. He opened credit cards in his parents name to support his addictions. All of them. He stole. This man needed help. His friends abandoned him. Yes the same ones whom used him for all those wild times in Vegas and Hollywood. Addiction. He found help with crack head girlfriends, one of them whom I met. Wow. I wouldn't have touched her with your.....well you get it. In 2004 he was caught breaking into a friends house. A friends house whom he dated. Whom I dated. She was a doll. Her parents were good people. But he had broken into their house a few times. For what? money? items to sell for drugs? NOPE. For lingerie. bras. panties. the works. AND he wore these items. Yes. He got butt naked and put on these clothes. His parents had suspected. After all he had dozens of items hidden in his room. But no one wanted to whistle blow? Its strange. Its weird. I cant find a single thing on google. But this fact is important. Its comes into play now. It could save his life. It could reunite him with his daughter. A crime in 2004. A conviction of a different crime in 2010. Prison. 16 years for attempted rape. Attempted? How bout no rape. Who says its a fetish?
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