Chips

I see the diamonds I see the clubs
I see a coke with some rum
I see an idiot with a bluff
I throw it down its the nuts

Smile

I see a mango I see a flower
Its beauty is too much to devour
To know its truth is not that simple
All I know is it gives me a dimple

Zombie

Not knowing where to go
Running in circles with virtigo
Alive but dead in a sense
I see the end of innocence

S.O.S.

A conscious effort
A freemen in search
A time to kill
A time to sooth

HER

Heavenly forces of goodness
Entrenched into the depths of an evil soul
Repentance of affliction disregarded

One day

A Monday reality
The eternal downfall of a dirty mind
An eternity of hope

Veterans

Those whom served
Them who serve
They who've died
Thank you

A Man and A Twig

The door slams suddenly and violently. And in that moment fear struck the room like guilt on a rainy day. A man, beautiful in so many ways, enters his domain. The air runs and hides in its secret spot that air calls its panic room. Luckily on this day not a human being nor animal existed in these confines. From my understanding the lost souls that reside there as well were also gone to a free buffet with live music. This man wore an emotion on his sleeveless sleeve and this emotion lit up the room like the Strip in Vegas. Vegas baby. Vegas. Now, what we don't know is exactly what was this emotion. Speculation adheres that it is very possible the emotion, lit like the Fourth of July, was frustration. What happened next is again speculation and assumptions, but both from non perjured testimony of a twig. A twig that on this day was in the wrong place at the wrong time. A twig that felt a man's emotion. A man's frustration. Now the details are sketchy as we only have one side of the story. But twigs are known to be the most honest creatures on earth. But still. I question why the twig did not leave the room, the establishment. He states he would never abandon his family of twigs. 200 plus twigglies. What occurred was a frustrated man physically abused this twig. The twig suffered multiple injuries, but still failed to press charges. In fact the twig and his family have forgiven a frustrated man. As of this morning a man and a twig are adamantly practicing the art of FREEMEN.

InterIllusion

As I lay breathing the air that was not meant for me, I realize that I was not meant for this world.
I realize that this world was not meant for me. I take solace for granted on these days and wish for only the purest of molecules to wash away my sanctity. While I wear only a headdress on my bare body, I forge everything I dream into a tiny white capsule. On the outside of the capsule reads, "FREEMEN." With the movement of a magician the tiny white capsule disappears. My crown still rests upon my naked skull. A deep breath once more. The air that was not meant for me I ingest slowly as if there was only enough to last a mere few hours. The sky glows, vaguely uninterested in my deep thoughts of immorality. A gust of wind comes from under the earth. It has a sense of repeated emotional trauma. It burns. I feel as if I am immovable. I am not. My headdress remains undeterred. It is free. No equivocal amount of heat would melt this crown as its molecular structure has repented twice forth. My heart skips like an old Coltrane record. It will pass I tell my inner being. Hard rain begins to fall. Snow. I hear motocross. A laugh. I stand and shake the snow off my crown. And after a short lapse of reminding time, I continue down the path.

G vs E

He wears orange adidas pants.
He runs the world from the comfort of his lazyboy.
But he is not lazy nor is he a boy.
The authorities search endlessly to confront him.
However they do not want confrontation.
For they know he will not go easy.
They know he will not allow it.
Around the world, millions wait on the edge of their seat.
They discuss the wages of self inflicted war.
Most people pray for hope.
Others pray for hopelessness.
The world is split.
Good versus evil.
Necessary evil.
And evil works from the confines of his castle.

Day of Your Life

Sweet melodies of reverences withstands
The dawn of a new beginning begins
A new year for my darling
An ageless beauty

The world seems to stop each day
Almost as if to remind me... why
A smile
Then a memory

A bond forged forever
A friend connected by imaginary parts
A life derived from pain and suffering
A world created from the aftermath of love

A laugh
That laugh
It makes my lip crevices point true north
To which afterwords I could die...happy

We celebrate a day with thank yous
We collaborate this day with fellowship
We blow the flame together
And we endure the winds one day at a time
One day at a time

Midnite Rendezvous

VU

Lucid Dream

Sometimes it takes time for freewill and freemen to subside to the bottom of the parts of your soul that are dark and mostly hidden from the outside world. But once the discovery is cohabitant and allowed to rise through the darkness, out through the lost souls and out for the world to behold, it is one of the most beautiful sights in this precious world you will ever see. An example in translucent written form is below:

I am the pavement to your ride. There may always be many bumps and turns along our way but I will always be there for your journey. I am the pavement to your ride. Take a seat, settle in, sit back and enjoy the ride. With every turn there will be a new experience, amazing sunsets, breathtaking sunrises..Ride On....Ride Free.....

Names are not necessary. Length of time is unrelated. The fact remains she is free. Freemen has filled her like a gas tank before a ride. Like a deep breath while witnessing a perfect rainbow. The time is now. And we are coming.

LUBE (an original story)

I just fucked some hot sauce. And she was good. How good? Real good. I mean this shit was flavorful as if my buds were just awoken from a coma. This sauce was like a defibrillator and my mouth was the leading character in Flatliners. And no not that red headed dsl hooker Julia Roberts. But more like that man whom would later almost die 46 times during 8 seasons. Now this hot sauce was properly placed on some very well cooked home made street tacos. Steak. Tortillas corn. Hot sauce. I fucked it every which way. Bobby Flay could use this hot sauce and instantly make monkey balls a delicatessen. I feel like rat turds would be amazing with this hot sauce drizzled over it. My mouth just challenged me to engage this hot sauce onto some original Cheerios. Challenge accepted bitch. And before you start telling me that I am talking about Tapatio or Cholula, do me a favor and SHUT YOUR YAPPER. This delicious shit comes from Louisiana. It has a red fucking dot. And it is "original". I wish right now because of my foul mouth full of glorious vulgarities that a mother figure would curse me and attack my mouth with this hot sauce as a form of lewd punishment. And this mother figure would need to be as old as Helen Mirren and butt naked with a red dot on her forehead. I will not put up a fight and will take my red hot punishment as directed per all of the cultural standards set before my time. From this point forward and with the will of FREEMEN I vow to only use Louisiana Hot Sauce for all of my lubricant needs.

Birthday Prayer

I was just a young man when the conception was made
But I remember thinking a woman was going to bred another woman
I wondered if the cycle would continue or be broken
After all life had not come easy
There was pain and hurt and consequences
But the past is just the past
I kept her sonogram on my bed surrounded by Christmas lights in October
She was cute in an alien sort of way
A girl for sure, but like her mom I did not know
For a woman whom breeds another woman
It is special even if they do not show
For part one was an adventure nonetheless
But what would part two bring to the table
A special child is what she is
A special connection is what she needs
For a woman to breed another woman
That's a special connection indeed
She was given a name that was special
In fact it was divine
Her pageantry was amazing
As the bond was formed between mother and daughter
But as the years pass by I often sit and wonder
What would happen if they did not have each other
You see we have to forget the past
Because we often forget the future
And we never live in the present
A woman had another woman
And there both very special to me
On a day when another year passes
I hope they remember each other
At the end of our lives no matter how old we are
ALL WE HAVE IS EACH OTHER'S LOVE

Not A Dream

The day ended with not a soul in sight. It was dark. Very dark. I was alone. The normal melody of the world around me was silent. No movement at all. No crickets in the background to acknowledge the silence. The air became mute. I tried to think about light and all its essence, but I had no memory. I tried to search for any remnants of life around me, but there was none. I was alone on this night. I wondered if I yelled, would that cause an effect. I contemplated what skills I had to create life. I conjured a spliff of an idea to determine where I was. Than like a ghost in the darkness it was gone. I moved my fingers to my eyelids to ensure they were indeed open. They were. I began to speak as if to deny my stubbornness that this was just a dream. "Hello?" I hear no echo. All I hear is dark silence. There is no adjective to describe the sense of what was around me. How do you describe "nothing?" I start to walk. My calves ache excruciatingly. My toes feel as if they are non existent. I feel my feet though. My mind knows there are toes. But they are just not there. My abdomen cracks with each step as if to tell me I am not strong. I disagree. I have no sense of direction. I follow my instinct and I just walk. I am not afraid. I challenge the darkness. I challenge the pain. I challenge the unknow. I walk. Alone. Than a thought. My guitar. I remember my desire to play in tune the Beatles "I'm a Loser." A beautiful melody that I cannot hear, but that I remember and my ears twinkle at that moment. They are telling me, "we are here with you and we will not let you down." I feel the lyrics in my bones:

What have I done to deserve such a fate?

I realize I have left it too late

And so it's true, pride comes before a fall

I'm telling you so you won't lose all

I'm a loser

And I lost someone who's near to me

I'm a loser

And I'm not what I appear to be

I begin to feel indifferent to this world. It's not the darkness. It's not the feeling of lost. It's not even the pain. It is just indifference. I do not question it. I walk alone in the darkness. But I am not alone. I'm just not.



Stand up Monologue

First timer here. I thought this would be like my first time having sex. Let me draw this thing out for you. Lets muppet baby this shit. Prom nite. Limo. Zoot suit. Hotel room. Right. Ok. Motel 6. My bad. Feeling good. Tipsy. Little Ginuwine. You know it, "if your horny, lets do it, ride it, my pony." You feel that shit. Than its wet and I put it in and its slimy and then BAM BAM BLOODY FREAKIN MASSACRE. It was like Carrie, but like Harrie. And the poor little girl flipped the fuck out and went THRILLER on my ass.
Ok. I gotta tell this story. I never smoke weed. Never ever smoke weed. Ever. So Im smoking weed at this party right. And Im introduced to a drinking game called Asshole. Anybody play that shit? What asshole created asshole? Fuck him. Fuck that guy. Drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, and drink and drink some fucking more. Fuck him man.

Thats my time. IM OUT LIKE I GOT GOUT.

If She Had A Daddy (A musical ode)

A baby went missing in the darkness
A baby went missing in the darkness

She doesn't even know what her name is
She cried and she cried and she cried and she cried
She hadn't even eaten during the day
She was sleepy and didn't have her blanky
For the nite had come and she was alone

A baby went missing in the darkness
A baby went missing in the darkness

She slept on top of some tree leaves
She shivered like a dog out in the cold
She cried and she cried and she cried and she cried
She awoke to some noises in the distance
She missed her mommy so much
For the nite had come and she was alone

A daddy went searching for his baby
He knew he never should have left her with her
He cried and he cried and he cried and he cried
He'll die before he gives up on his baby
He'll search till he can't search any longer
For the nite had come and she was alone

A baby went missing in the darkness
A baby went missing in the darkness

He heard his baby's cries in the distance
He ran and he ran and he ran and he ran
His heart hurt so much
He cried and he cried and he cried and he cried
And his heart finally stopped
She cried and she cried and she cried and she cried
For the nite had come and she was alone



Postscript:
Please note this song was written as a metaphor and no babies were affected at all.
Thank you.

Vergebung (Theodor Seuss Geisel form)

A simple reflection before a meeting.
For the future unknown could bring a beating.

The times were grand. But grand used when said as grandiose.
The times were tough. But only when I was told adios.
There would be no more song and dance.
Only interaction via happenstance.

It occurred on a beautiful day full of surprises.
And by the gods it could have lasted till the sunrises.

For in this world we need to clear what is the perception.
We need to live honest and with no deception.
It is not an easy task much like Inception.
But in the end there is always a warm loving reception.

The lights were dim the room was darkness.
If regicide, than death by sadness.
But what in fact it was the contrary.
The proof is me as I write my Bradbury.
In fact it was better than a cheesecake, strawberry.

The talk was hard, the talk was long.
Its true I tell you I was wrong.
Than came humor and remembrance of life's rewards.
And a decision of sorts to sheath our swords.

All in all it was a day of all days.
A new beginning some would says.
It takes me to an ocean to swims with rays.
To reflect alone and change my ways.

I ask you all to live today.
I ask you all to you portray.
I ask you all to never runaway.
I ask you all to be free one day.

Solace

A game. For some vindication. For others just a body with no soul. I walk into the mouth of madness. Alone, but not afraid. Afraid, but not alone. 213 is with me. We know this is part of the process. We understand it's the path and it will not define us, but its the right thing to do. The eye of the storm now. All impulses say to run. We are steadfast. Some see a body with no soul. Others seek vindication. But its just a game. And the best hand wins.

I watch. The day is abnormal. Almost like I don't belong. But I try. Not that anyone deserves anything in this life, but I give it anyway. A quaint verification. A subtle depiction. Closure. I still don't belong. The day is still abnormal. I continue to watch.
I taste. The sun is setting. Words are told in prose form. Sentences are constructed so that the deeper meaning is understood. A sip. More words. Now a gulp. I have a realization. But it is one I have had many times. People are just searching. And I pray for them. I pray to every god. I hope their search ends one day. Words are told in prose form. The sun has set. The taste is succulent.

It's dark. A new location. More closure. I find myself right where I want to be. On the brink of rescue. Even when I am worth nothing, I see the beauty in resilience. Now a smoke. A calming. A flask. A swig. An uncontrollable urge to save the world. Some humor. A unique but always welcomed feeling of euphoria. Closure. A new location. It's still dark.
I drive. I reflect. I acknowledge. It's a funny thing to have remorse. I am intrigued by the act of forgiveness. I feel hope. I feel like no more kids are starving and there is no more war in the world. I am wrong, but this feeling is intense. I remember I must do more for this world. Its a calling. I acknowledge. I reflect. I drive.

It's called a game. But it's much closer to life than people realize. The highs. The lows. The trials. The tribulations. The triumphs. At times angels play trumpets from the heavens and also at times the flames from the depths of hell smother your body. But to play the game the right way is the key. To play life the right way is the path. There will always be winners. There will always be losers. On this night I was a winner and a loser. And when I laid my head down for rest, I knew I played the game the right way.

Eternity

Its a feeling felt like never before
An eternity.

Its like when the world spins and each moment of life gives out
A melodic glimmer of hope.

Like when a friend holds your hand when your scared
And all the worlds problems disappear.

Its like when the sun rises and the birds chirp
And for a brief moment you feel as if this could be Heaven.

Its a feeling felt like never before
An eternity of love.

From Soledad with Love Part 1

Preface:
I would like to start sharing correspondence from Soledad to Soledad from the very beginning to the very end when this story is told. It had been years since I had heard from Erik, but he was always on my mind. You see I don't have alot of friends and for good reason. I don't want too. I choose this. But through my lifetime up to this point I have come across many influential people. One of them is dead. More than a few of them are alive. Some of them don't even know what they mean to me or did mean to me or even will mean to me one day. Again my choice. For what I am and for what I have done, I choose to save a mans life. I choose to open up and share my life. For maybe on this journey it is I who needs to be saved. Knowing this I move forward as there is no other direction to go. As I read and reread these letters and think about the conversations and the interviews thus far, I am reminded of a quote:
When you get those rare moments of clarity, those flashes when the universe makes sense, you try desperately to hold on to them. They are the life boats for the darker times, when the vastness of it all, the incomprehensible nature of life is completely illusive.

Marc,
Great to hear or read from you. Our friendship means alot to me, I hope some of what my mom explained to you gives reason to my irrationality over the past decade. I get sick to my stomach reflecting upon my erratic conversations and attempts to see/talk to you. The pangs of regret reverberate from my past into my present. Saying this on paper does not alleviate the pain, but the hope of your friendship does. I lost something our senior year of high school. I didn't lose it, I gave it away. Our friendship. You are the best friend of my life, neither before I met you or after had there been anyone I've let in and I cant wait for it to continue.
Tell me how you are doing? What you are doing? Your letter eluded to concern, but of what, I'm in the dark. I hope you are OK, but this place gives me plenty of time to worry. I want to know what you are going through and why it is happening. As soon as I or you learn of the approval to visit you can set up an appointment and we can sit and talk. Also you could get a weekday visit, but this is through glass. Your schedule sounds hectic. Whatever works best would be best for me.
It is not that I want my story told, although that would be a pretty awesome story, its that I want a comparison told. CJ Wilson (texas rangers) and I went to Santa Ana College and he pitched in the World Series last year and I watched from prison. I want a comparative as to why I went my way and he went his. It would be a great tool for kids/college aged ballplayers to not go my way but to choose his. I would love for you and only you to put this together. That is if you think it will work, if not then you make some recommendations and we will go that route as I trust you. I need your phone number. write me and I will call.
Love You, Erik.

As I continue to gain knowledge and work to help this mans appeal process as well as tell his story, I find I am constantly growing. I am appreciating more and more how important and meaningful life can be.
How I was never taught how to make correct decisions and just how imperative integrity is. How beautiful friendship can be. How a mans path can be misleading. But how a mans path is so important for the essence of that man. This journey continues and its with a calm heart, a patient mind, and a honest soul that freemen will exist.

Make believe

A wild mannered being              
A presence beyond the beyond
A stigmata of sorts.

A heavenly essence
A wealth of unknown
A nurturer of sorts.

A path not of this realm
A path nonetheless
A superficial moment of time.

The results scattered obliviously
The fates of souls unrested
The ending near.

A sudden spark of energy
A new found love of life
A fulfillment of sensationalism.

The world changes its course
The men become free
The peace begins.

First Sight

glamoured arrays of darkness
with
fulfillment in tiny particles of sunshine
at dusk there is a suttle hint of imperfection
and
at dawn a forbidden taste of succulence
riped with enamored emotions of lust
for
the hearts to computate compatability
to
redetermine their fates
to
redeem the supposed unredeemable
to
repair the ripple effects of sudden trauma
to
relinquish what is most desired
to
relish in imfamous revelry
to
LOVE OURSELVES FIRST

Rough draft minus details Part deux

Who says its a fetish? A man who has lived a fast life. A woman who stood by him with their baby. Drugs. Poker. Lifestyle. Followed by pain. Agony. Withdrawals. And a cell. This man had addictions. Women. Their clothing. Panties. Bras. Leather. Lingerie. Frederick's of Hollywood was not sufficient. The woman left this man with his addictions. She met a richer man whom took the little girl and made her his. He had alot of money. And that is exactly what she wanted. A beautiful woman got what she wanted. But at what expense. This man had a problem. He owed thousands in casino debt with the wrong people. I even helped one time with wired money. Little did I know. His Cosby like family tried to help. They sent him to a plethora of times to rehab. And no not at the Hard Rock. Not that stupid reality shit you all watch. He only escaped. His parents spent thousands and thousands of dollars. Even sold their company to help with the debt. He escaped. He opened credit cards in his parents name to support his addictions. All of them. He stole. This man needed help. His friends abandoned him. Yes the same ones whom used him for all those wild times in Vegas and Hollywood. Addiction. He found help with crack head girlfriends, one of them whom I met. Wow. I wouldn't have touched her with your.....well you get it. In 2004 he was caught breaking into a friends house. A friends house whom he dated. Whom I dated. She was a doll. Her parents were good people. But he had broken into their house a few times. For what? money? items to sell for drugs? NOPE. For lingerie. bras. panties. the works. AND he wore these items. Yes. He got butt naked and put on these clothes. His parents had suspected. After all he had dozens of items hidden in his room. But no one wanted to whistle blow? Its strange. Its weird. I cant find a single thing on google. But this fact is important. Its comes into play now. It could save his life. It could reunite him with his daughter. A crime in 2004. A conviction of a different crime in 2010. Prison. 16 years for attempted rape. Attempted? How bout no rape. Who says its a fetish?

Rough Draft Minus the Details Part 1

A man has a child at an early age. He is madly in love with his high school sweetheart. She is blonde has no mother, a drunk father and is starved for attention. She is gorgeous and every boy wants her in the school yard. She gets breast implants. The young man spoils her with gifts and labors of love. Its a romance that has Fabio on the cover. The rumors of wild sex everywhere run rampant. I once heard a lamp was broken at a popular hotel. Wow. She does not leave his side for a long time. They are a match made in heaven.
He is the coolest guy in school. Starting quarterback, starting catcher on the varsity squad, smartest kid in class, good looking and has a family much like the Cosby's. Only white. He is the prototypical all american. He is from Pennsylvania. He is on the right track. And she is right by his side. They have a child at the age of 20. She is 18. Fake boobies. A plethora of sex. Equals procreation. He drops out of college to study and train for Hollywood Squares. You know the trivia game show thats been around for centuries. I think the first winner was a Viking, before they perished due to the Ice Age. He makes the cut. He wins day 1. He wins day 2. He wins day 3. He wins day 4. He wins day 5. He wins the entire week and over 100,000 dollars. He also wins trips around the world and a few cars. He is asked to return to Hollywood squares for a Champions week and continues the winning streak. More money more problems. You will find his mug on the HS website. He is the one that looks like Jason Bourne. Seriously. Addiction is a disease. And this story has 4 addictions in 1. First came the drugs. He would throw parties in very expensive suites in Las Vegas and in Hollywood with the money won. She would accompany him. The child would stay at his parents. A baby. Within these parties were large amounts of cocaine. And alcohol. Than extravagant trips. And more cocaine. Second came the gambling. Poker. Hold em from Texas. And just like that all the money was gone. All of it. In total over a quarter of a million dollars. Poof. Gone. Like something out of Hogwarts. A man had a child at an early age.
TO BE CONTINUED.

Day 1

There is a reason why things happen. There is always a reason. Deceit, crime, vengeance, hate never wins. It only brings about pain and a lost soul. Can people be rehabilitated? I feel like the answer is YES, but one can never be sure. There has to be trust. There has to be a reason to change and be better. Things happen because we cause them too. Some for the wrong reason, yet some for the right reasons. An example would be a dog shitting on a carpet. The dog is asking for help. WE just have to see it. Feel it. Believe in it. Hold it. Love it. It is with this pretext that I want to bring up a story that I am working on. A man. A friend. A person who saved my life years ago and whos calling for me to help his life NOW, I HEAR LOUD AND CLEAR. You know humans are not perfect. We err with pure intent at times. WE reach rock bottom only to realize we are not alone. We CAN rehabilitate. WE can love again. We are not lost. We are found. WE have a god. Its time we self sacrifice. We touch others. I dont have all the answers. I cannot see the future. But I have an opportunity to share a story. This posting will serve as my contractual agreement. My treaty that I want in. That I have been punished long enough. That the hurt I created can bring good. That I ACCCEPT the challenge. No matter where  we are in life, there is good to be done. Some call this the Lords work. And I am now a soldier. Again.
I apologize to everyone in this world. And with that I bring  you a story. Now it will take time to tell. I will use this as my canvas. My Notes. My perspective. My reality. My path for righteousness. My way to get to heaven. There are alot of things to live for and I know what they are for me. But this mission is something I must do. If I stand for anything it will be known. This is not a joke. This is reality. This is not about me. This is about an opportunity. An opportunity to save a mans life.
THE STORY BEGINS.

Random

* I just met a fat Richard Gere and he was talking about hookers. Typical.
* I watched a guy tonite who made people laugh and cry with his sushi.
*I watch as this man created masterpieces and filled people with hope and happiness.
*Sometimes life gives you lemons........Fuck that. What do you do when life gives you hand grenades? That's what I thought
*He turned Mackeral from the shit fish to Ariel's father. Why not her best friends were a crab and a fish.
*Just played a joke on a stranger in restroom.....he was not amused.
* http://twitgoo.com/vdu1j ....just met tucker max.
*Who would win in a fight between two no titty broads?
*Jack Johnson just sucked me off...know that world
*Instead of seeing kickass I wish I would of got my ass kicked
*It's a new day full of careless thieves and new old sagas.
*He doesn't like hippies so he won't Fuck organic fruit.
*I feel like I'm in a comedy drama sitcom called Boredom.
*http://twitgoo.com/lfsq0 a map to gollums ass hole.
* I feel like march madness is a term used by serial killers or in chicken coops

*Mexicans are the fastest zig zag runners in the world.

*Just heard someone say. I love weenie. But they meant I love weezer

*I feel like pooping should be an Olympic sport. There could be amazing camera angles.

*Revenge is sweet. Like Swedish breast milk.

*Just saw big black dude in a BMW Z3. Hilarious.

*I once ate a roach for protein. It was the 90's

*I feel like I could be the Mexican member of Wu-tang.

*I feel like a stormtrooper with no name who just ate an ewok for lent.

*Whats the weirdest thing you have ever put your finger in?

*I got all my love making skills from top gun. Thank you Goose.

*Sometimes in life we have to acknowledge that the world is not on our side.

*That's not s happy trail that's a happy freeway.

*If this is like cedar, than this is like mini cedar.

 

These are all comments heard today while under Operation Evesdrop.

--I have worms

--My tampon is leaking

--My butt itches

 

*Looking for the meaning of life via phone sex.

*Met a real men's figure skater in work bathroom. Apparently he has cramps.

*To all the cholos' of the world: dickies are 40% off at Kohls.

 

My Favorite:

"The hangover on blu ray is better than gay sex" dude at best buy...wowsers!

 

A farewell joke:

Knock knock? Whos there? BALLS. Balls who?

just BALLS. we dont have a last name. CAN WE COME IN?

Enjoy yourself: Volume 3

This is a personal friend of mine and he is what I would call a PROFESSIONAL in the Sushi Dark Arts.
Live it, like it, love it, be JEALOUS.

I present from sushistudioarts.com:

STAY TUNED....................................................................

You DESERVE this: Volume: 2

Reprimand

I visualize it everyday of my life. Its like the scene in the first LOTR, when Gandalf sacrifices his being for the sake of the of the fellowship. The future is not known. Its just faith. I mean, we waited a year to find out what really happened that evening in the gates of hell, however the gesture was pure nonetheless. The day was not abnormal. The SUN rose like it did the previous days of that year. And although omnipotence is everywhere, the breeze was very ordinary. There was no scent of imperfection. No Mad Starking Rave. Donuts were made that morning. Coffee was brewed and dialogue was spoken. Birds flew around this morning as if going to smoke a stogie after morning sex. No mouthwash. Than winds. Then fulfillment. Radical. That point of no return. The righteous edge of enlightenment. Indescribable. Thriller. A classic. Vintage. Most would not understand. More than likely a majority. A conductor. A member of the Outsiders and the Rebels. Scientifically proven that winning the lottery is actually worse. BUT that is a given. Tell us something we didn't know. A bluish tone. Blinding metals. Radiance abundance. A Count of Monte Cristo. King Arthur. You know heroes. Literature's finest.

"If all the world hated you, and believed you wicked, while your own conscience approved you, and absolved you from guilt, you would not be without friends."
- Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre

Fuck the Plunger

Does anyone else get embarrassed when buying or borrowing a toilet plunger? I mean everyone shits right? Why did I just feel embarrassed? I mean who gives two or three fucks? Right? Damn. I feel like I can talk, correctly, about the relevance of the Mayan Calendar to the end of the world in 2012 with repeated episodes of Spongebob Squarepants, but this plunger issue baffles me. I mean I felt like eyeballs were all watching me through looking glasses as I paced down Mexican Melrose Place. I don't even know the proper protocol of "full disclosure" when purchasing one. Who the fuck even knows about borrowing. Do you double bag it when buying and bringing to the home of where this instrument I hold in my hand will brew. Is it paper or plastic? Are there special bags maybe? And when borrowing, how does one ask? "Excuse me Jaime, can I use that instrument you usually use to play with your own shit with?" Fuck that shit. Not me. Not ever. Think of all them gosh damn judgements. Then say fuck it and go play with your shit.

My first published newspaper article (POP BOTTLES)

Savanna wins road league game over Magnolia after controversial call

For the Anaheim Independent

In what was an exciting league game from start to finish, the Savanna Rebels (6-4) pulled out a one run victory over the Sentinels of Magnolia 5-4. A bang-bang play in the bottom of the seventh inning, in which the second base umpire called two Sentinels out after a sacrifice bunt and hard slide, squandered the Sentinels bid for a walk off win.

Savanna pitcher Nathan Mathias pitched admirably in relief for the win with four and a third innings of shutout baseball allowing three hits and getting Magnolia to ground into two double plays in both the third and fourth innings. Magnolia Sentinel pitcher Gerardo Adame pitched a complete game going seven innings allowing thirteen hits and five runs.

The Sentinels (4-5) played great defense as well with a diving catch from center fielder Fragoza Giovanni in the top of the fifth inning and two of the three Savanna runners thrown out at second base by catcher Ryan Ortega in the top of the seventh inning to keep the game at a one run deficit.

The second inning was action packed with the Rebels scoring three runs on five singles and one walk with Rebel senior Joseph Rivera starting off the action with a single and finishing the game 4-for-4 with three singles, double, stolen base and one RBI. Savanna catcher AJ Kennedy had a huge triple in the fourth off the Green Monster and scored the winning run off of a Rivera single.

The Sentinels responded with four runs in the second inning and showed great plate discipline taking six walks and a hit by pitch, but could not get the clutch hits with runners in scoring position in the fourth, sixth and seventh innings. The hitting star for the Sentinels was Fragoza Giovanni with a key two out, two run single in the second inning and a sacrifice bunt which led to the controversial call in the bottom of the seventh inning.

After an Adame single, Giovanni hit a sacrifice bunt to the pitcher who then threw to second base for the out and after a hard slide by Adame, in which the umpire ruled Adame slid with his cleats up, the umpire called out the runner at first and foiling any attempts for a Sentinel comeback. The Magnolia shortstop Jordan Thompson than walked and a grounder to short by Kevin Ramirez ended the game and a Savanna Rebel celebration ensued.

After the umpire’s ruling, Magnolia Sentinel coach Marcelo Miranda stormed out of the dugout to question what the umpire saw. Miranda quotes,” the umpire stated he saw cleats in the air and he has a responsibility to protect the players.”

A tough loss for the Sentinels of Magnolia and a great league win for the Rebels of Savanna, but the real winners were the fans for a wonderful afternoon of Orange County High School baseball.

After a weekend of tournament baseball for Magnolia and Savanna, league play continues with the Rebels playing at the Falcons of Santa Ana Valley (0-10) and the Sentinels playing at the Knights of Katella High School (4-4) on April 13^th at 3:15 pm.

Excerpt #1

My life is like a Quentin Tarantino flick. The end is the beginning and the beginning is the end. A flip flop of sorts. A backwards essence of time reversed only for future condolences. I know this is the undeniable outcome of of my existence. When did this start? I answer my own question: When I became a man. I cant exactly pinpoint a date or a specific event, but it stands out in time like a bright yellow cab when you don't need one. It happens like lightning, quick and silent. Nobody knows, not one soul but mine and its conscious is unburdened. This is my story.

My Query Today

I just heard this quote.
“A puff of kif in the morning makes a man as strong as 1,000 camels in the courtyard.”

Could this possibly be true?

Your thoughts?

Hate Crimes

I witnessed a hate crime. And it was towards me. But why? Because I am of Mexican descent. Because I ride a motorcycle? Because I use Hempz? Is it due to the fact I never fully fill up my car with gasoline? Or is it because I fly kites? Did this heinous act occur because of my love for Thundercats? Or was it a hit? Am I a wanted man? Is the fate of the USA in my hands and terrorists want me killed? Am I a secret spy and have lost my memory? Why was a hate crime committed against me? Why? I mean this hate crime was vile. Nasty even. The deviants that constructed this vulgarity against me had to be the worst of the worst. They had to be monsters. One of them had to be named something like "Agent 55" and maybe "Dr. Smoke Monster." It may take me years to recover. What these haters did was out of pure remorse for humanity. Pure remorse for me. Are you ready for the horrific details of this hate crime? THIS IS NOT FOR THE WEAK STOMACHED. These assassins took out my laundry which were drying in a 75 minute cycle and put their laundry in instead. They stole my $1.75. Stole it. And not once but twice. They did this to two of my dryers. These hitmen than had the audacity to put my laundry back in as if nothing ever happened. How much hate do you have to have in your heart to do this criminal act. And again what did I do? Who hired you?
The world is a sad sad place.

Secret Revealed

Its time for me to confess. This is embarrassing too. I absolutely positively with no qualms or doubts love JUSTIN BIEBER. There I said it. Happy now. I have dreams about the kid ok. I love his music. I sing his tunes in the shower. I intentionally google him to get all the latest updates. I follow him on twitter and facebook. I have his pictures on all of my backgrounds. I have recently looked into changing my name to Bieber. I just simply love the lad alright, Not in a Law and Order SVU kind of way, but more in a platonic infatuation for the kids talents. I mean those moves. That voice. And I am not a fan of Canadians. I mean I hate the Toronto Raptors. And when the Bills play in Canada. Come on man. Thank you NFL lock out. But not to worry skeptical judge mentalists, I had this same man crush with Justin Timberlake. Maybe its a Justin thing. Either way it doesn't matter. I HAVE BIEBER FEVER.

Its Coming!

"Bartender I will have another."

 No, not True Blood fang bangers, but instead Canna Cola. Oh yes, move over "special brownies, and hello soda pot. Marijuana soda will be hitting dispensaries in Colorado and soon to your local California weed convenient stores. As fantastic as this news is, envision our world with soda pot machines in every sleezy motel and in every five star hotel. Think of the marketing we will see during each commercial break during the CFL. I say CFL as the NFL may not exist in the future, but I digress. Commercials with hot babes in bikinis drinking Orange Kush singing Redemption Song on a beautiful sandy beach followed by Jared from Subway enticing us with a three dollar footlong and an extra large Doc Weed (Dr. Pepper people). Companies will pay millions to advertise King Kong drinking a Grape Ape or even a stoner Curious George drinking the same beverage but with a banana twist. I can picture Drake in a commercial promoting Sour Diesel much like he did for Sprite only with a much catchier song that plays on every radio station in every city every minute of each day. Oh wait. Never mind. What about the Mexican population? These drinks, Canna Cola, look like Mexican soda pop known famously from the isles every Anglo skips at the grocery stores, Jarritos. Not only will Jarritos make a profit due to stoners nationwide confusing the two, but can also get into the market by branding their own mexican marijuana soda Marijarritos. Mexican Cartels you have my permission, but godspeed, you may be out of a job soon.  

Cocaine Trees

I would like to take some time to discuss in an open forum what I saw a few weeks ago in Northern California. Cocaine Trees. Now you will not hear about these on the news or will you be able to use google magic this time my friends. But these trees exist. I saw them with my one eyes. For legal reasons I cannot disclose exactly where they are at or even show you up close photos of what they look like that. From my understanding these Cocaine Trees are a sole proprietorship of the McLovin Cartel. You can google that, and I will tell you Tarantino has nothing on these guys. The bloodshed you will see will make you shit out a color of feces you will not want to see ever again. I discuss Cocaine Trees with you now to assist you with the understanding of the dangers associated with finding these trees and in my case tasting these trees. The high I got was nothing short of amazing. I felt like C3PO, but with Jedi powers aka "the force". But the next day I had a rude awakening. It has taken me two weeks to recover. Thank you McLovin Cartel. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Heed this warning followers: If you see a Cocaine Tree, get the fuck out of dodge.

A message from the Waves

We do not like what is going on in this world. I know we are to blame for Japan, but to be fair the earthquake started it. We do not back down ever. We are beautiful, but we are not weak. But now we have war. Again. We do not believe in the Mayan cryptic code, but when push comes to shove, we will do what we must to survive. We love the people of this world, but the signs are there. Enjoy your life. Live. Laugh. Share. Love. Time is running out.

Extra Extra Hear All a-bout it.

I have a secret......................................................................................Its good..............................................................OMG...............................................Your world will be rocked..................................................fucking rocked...............


Brought to you by:
Pepto Bismo.

Eye Witness

I thought it was dead. I thought it was over. Social media. Charlie Sheen. The Russians. Red Dawn. Shaq vs Kobe. And dont forget Ja Rule. But I saw it. I saw two lovers in love.

The way they looked into each others glass eyes. The way they glistened with each suttle movement. It was like all of their dreams had come true. They accepted each other unconditionally and with no judgement. They felt only love for each other. They knew of only one way to communicate. And no matter what each their age, they just loved. This day I witnessed lovers in love. And I am a better man for seeing it.

I dont know much about these lovers. One was born in 1999 and the other in 1996. One was from Northern California and the other from France. What I do know is that they were beautiful together. Thank you lovers. Thank you for giving the world hope. That love does exist. That we all are capable of love. That with love all things are possible. And that with love the world is a better place. I witnessed lovers in love. And life will never be the same.

Bromance gone wild

Step 1: Take friend on an airplane.
Step 2: Have pilot make believe plane is crashing.
Step 3: Have friend jump off plane with parachute.
Step 4: Friend will swim to nearby Island.
Step 5: Friend reaches Island and Wild Party ensues full of hookers and midgets.
Step 6: Friend passes out and everyone leaves.
Step 7: Friend awakes all alone.
Step 8: Friend commits suicide.

The unconditional downFall of man

"This is your life and its ending one minute at at time"
A narrator said this in Fight Club and never have multiple words sounded so real. Each minute elapses and Men are never any closer to understanding why we fail and why we fall. After multiple case studies and years of observations the only conclusive evidence ever glimpsed is WOMEN. Its sad as just the other day I witnessed the demise of a great man to that of the jezebelian ways of WOMEN. His mind was corrupted like that of a hard drive when infected with a trojan virus. His need to make peace and his choice to please drove a man mad. I saw it coming. I did nothing. But in this case I take no responsibility for a man actions. I take no responsibility for the unconditional downfall of Man. On this day I take solace in understanding that Man will fail and Man will fall. Its the natural course of the unidentifiable secret of life. Bon Voyage Man. Bon Voyage.

A conversation with Robert

"I had a lover's quarrel with the world." Robert Frost
A lover's quarrel? You mean a fight with your lover of the world. Did she stab you in the thorax? With a knife or shank? Your still alive did it not hurt? Do you have insurance?
And why the world. Is she from New Jersey? I mean what the fuck is going on with this lover's quarrel. Did you cheat on your lover of the world? Did she cheat on you with a black midget? Did she use her teeth? Robert dont you know that a quarrel is ammo for a crossbow? Was it even a quarrel Robert? Could it have been a mere commotion? A disagreement maybe? Or was it a battle? A caterwaul even? Even so it seems to me that your lover's quarrel with the world was not as epic as you made it out to be. I feel lied to Robert. I feel like you took my only dollar and bought a one way ticket to fuck you.
Either way I now have a lover's quarrel with the world.

Gremlins

Who remembers that Christmas cult classic that came out that cold day in 1984. No one? I mean Gremlins is a classic. It should have its own marathon like that in comparison to A Christmas Story. Bravo? Fox? Anybody? It stars the beautiful or at least what was considered beautiful Phoebe Cates. Could you imagine if that was instead played by Kendra? WOW. Than you have that weird looking dude Zach Gallinafikis or whatever. I mean horrible actor, but at least Gizmo was voiced by the the best bald dude with a fu man chu tai chi, none other than "deal or no deal" Howie Mandel. By the way did you know they have a fricking ferbie that looks like Gizmo. Why? I digress for now. All this reminiscing has made me ill. All I want to know is, did this man sell you a Mogwai?

Job Opportunity (NOT A PONZI SCHEME)

WHO WANTS TO BE A PIRATE?
 I am having auditions on Thursday March 3, 2012. We will kidnap Americans and have a "ransom war" on ebay which will be aired on truTV on Sunday evenings at 9pm PST and hopefully rerun every hour on the hour the rest of the week. VERY IMPORTANT: We will use all proceeds collected from each ransom for three things and three things only. Booze. Drugs. Red headed hookers.
Looking for male and females and ages from 21-33 and one old guy at least 72 years old with a gnarly beard and love for mediterranean cuisine. Please be physically fit and can lift at least 50 pounds. Looking for creativity with wardrobe and any kind of weapon skills. Preferably chinese shooting stars. Please no homemade shanks. No background check, but we will check your credit. No drug screening.

Push Ups

So recently I witnessed something that I would call the gayest moment in the history of my life. Push Ups. No not bras you pervs. Military style push ups by non military style men. Wait. And at a Friday nite hookah bar nonetheless. Now the hookah bar was a fine establishment, but push ups. Give me a fucking break. Eight boys wanting to be men, doing one handed push ups. Doing one legged push ups. Doing push ups and than that idiotic clap in between. Doing push ups in tandem. Counting push ups out loud. In case you have not graduated grade school and do not understand my rant, I was at a fucking HOOKAH BAR on a Friday evening. During this time I had psychotic episodes of drowning nearby in the Pacific Ocean, but than I would not be able to share this form of idiocy with you today. Its ok that my suicidal tendencies of thought occured this nite, however doing push ups at a hookah bar is not alright. Not never. Not ever. I see one more push up at a hookah bar and I swear a crime will be committed that night.

I said it!

“Life gets better when your around the right people!”

NewFoundLand

A strong wind blows to the north. A land which was never explored is discovered.
A sacred holy ground. A cold draft hovers above and a drop is dripping. My fingers which were once cold are now warm. A rainbow appears. Its beautiful like Picasso just painted it. A bond is formed. I discovered new land and within this land a treasure to supply the world. With FREEDOM.

Masterbathing

So I masterbathed today. It was full of anger while having breakfast in bed. It was like sunshine during a flood. It made me feel like the fat guy in Nintendo's classic Ice Hockey game. And yeah he was the best player because he was playing with power and power whips speed and that skinny crack fiend every time. The dilemma I have are the thoughts that went through my head during this moment of my life. Let me tarantino this and set the scene. Shower. Dark (dont judge). A little Alanis Morrisette in the background. Paul Mitchell Shampoo. Dove soap. Steaming hot water.
Now the action. It starts off with a "I need to wake up and get my ass to work" type of moment. Im tired. A little sleepy. Its early. I skipped my morning jog and meditation so there is a little regret in the air. The shower is burning my skin and it feels like I am the devil and this is my home. Than I rub my head (the one connected to my neck)in a "I should have been a gay hairstylist" motion. I feel like im in a Korean massage parlor and I want, wait I NEED a happy ending. I get this light bulb above my brain and there is a picture of my balls being massaged by Heidi Klum and she is telling me that "Im either IN or Im OUT". I begin to massage my balls as if Heidi is now controlling my hands. I grab the dove soap. Now its game on. My mind drifts to a goat. And specifically George Clooney making a goat tip over with his mind. A movie I just watched. I get harder. But like harder when you are not gay but like want to keep the masterbathing going and typically you would think of your grandmother. Weird I know. The lesson learned here is I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO SPELL MASTERBATHING.

Personal Rant

I have to say something and people are not going to like it. At this point I do not give 2 flying fucks, which ironically 2 flying fucks are worth 400 yen in certain countries. Anyway what is the damn problem with perfume. Don't people know they smell like cheap fucking hookers. Example: I was in a meeting at work, a small room, and this fucking old man smelt like dirty gym shorts, but with a old spice twang. I felt like I was going to barf in my mouth. Twice. Example: I was at a poker game when a mildly attractive woman sat down next to me. I could tell she had not showered, but she had on a perfume that reminded me of a shit I took in 1999 after eating rotten kimchee while in South Korea. The flashback I had took me to a place that I WOULD wish on all of my enemies. Fuck them. Example: I went to a bar with a friend of mine and again not a fucking shower. What is wrong with people where they will not shower. I really question their parents and their morals. They want to get fucking laid with formaldehyde weeping from their genitals. Seriously. Fucking morons. To his credit he did have axe deodorant, however it was not axe, but instead the cheap shit. And if your wondering if I am talking shit behind his back, I have told him to his face he is a FUCKING LOSER. Fuck all of you for judging. The point of this rant is to promote my new fragrance. PUSSY JUICE. Get it at your local grocery stores today. Also take a fucking shower men and women of the free world, and while your at it get a fucking LIFE.

Jungle Fever

TRUE STORY:
I was recently watching professional football or the National Football League for you ridiculous maniacs. It was while watching the NFL that I saw an action or a physical emotion if you will that really touched my dark lost soul. I mean the place where a heart goes within my structure at this moment was consumed probably with stuffed toilet paper but consumed nonetheless. I saw a football coach from the opposite team hug and place his arms around a mammoth of a football player and in essence caressed this beastling's torso with so much love that at that moment a tear ALMOST dropped from my eye. I mean this man hugged another man like he was his son. Now its possible it was his son however one man was white and the other man was black. If black people are reading this what I meant to say was BLACK. The public display of affection was so dramatic and personal that television decided to show the world how these figures of dogtown are just human beings. Not all of them drink and drive, get arrested for possession of Lyndsey Lohan (cocaine), get accused of rape, smoke weed, drink syrup (not Aunt Jemima), have sex with a minor, have infidelity issues, kill themselves, and make a public fool of themselves (im talking to you Lebron). It was this moment that made me feel like this athlete was more than a celebrity, but instead a Teddy Ruxpin who just wants to be heard and seen and understood. It was this moment that I realized how much I hate......................... interracial relationships.

A short STORY

An American football place kicker has to go through life before and during the kick. He stretches to ensure his muscles are warmed and flexible. He takes a couple of practice kicks to ensure he is stretched and accurate for the upcoming kick. He gets a synergy speech from his coaches and teammates. He jogs out to the place where this kick is going to take place and takes a few more practice kicks in what I like to call "air kicks." He sets up and counts his steps to ensure this kick is no different than all his other kicks. Most times he is superstitious and all motions and movements have to be exactly like before or else in his mind the kick has already failed. But this time, so far so good. He feels it. He owns it. This bitch is his and he will give her the goods. He will give her the boot. He is set. He sees the playclock. He sees the football. The holder is ready. The place kicker is ready. The snap. Its perfect. The hold. It too is precise. Its in this moment that he knows this kick is the winner. The golden ticket. The stuff dreams are made of. He takes a deep breath. He takes his step and in perfect form kicks the most beautiful ball he has ever kicked. The WINNER. He is so confident, HE doesnt even look. He knows it was the coin. He know it was a little piece of an angels wing. What he didnt know this forth night is just that. He wasnt. The kick went wide left. He hooked it. And life was never the same...............until..............

Sleep Monkey

Let me tell you a story about the best nap I have ever had in my life. This nap made me feel like a bum who just hit the jackpot and found a twenty dollar bill. Like a hooker who has a cop as a john. Like a rapper who is white. This nap was equivalent to a buffet of vaginas but like with no old people. I hate that. Go away Home Style Country Buffet. Back to the nap. So this nap lasted what seemed forever, an eternity if you will. This nap was like going back into time and taking an even longer nap from before. Marty McFly has possibly taken a nap like this. Maybe. In reality this amazing nap lasted 9 seconds. And within this eclectic 9 seconds a bull was ridden and a butterfly was born. Super Fantastic right? Now this nap was not taken in any ordinary location. In fact this location could be a health hazard condemned only for OSHA to observe. Or if my cousins are doing their job this place could be heavenly and red wine could be drank from the windows to the wall. Probably not. This nap of the ages lasted a eternal 9 seconds and took place while standing at a URINAL. Yes a mother fucking URINAL. Now free people of the world, I urge you not to be jealous. A 9 second nap while standing at a urinal holding my Mexican penis is something you will NEVER experience. And if you own or rent a vagina YOU really will NEVER experience this epic nap. Let us pray.
On A Side Note:
DO NOT TALK TO ME WHILE I AM TAKING A PISS AT A URINAL. EVER YOU FUCKS.

BOLO (be on the look out)

Im looking for a movie. It has a midget or maybe 3 midgets and it takes place in Europe when having midgets was an acceptable form of pet ownership.The setting may be Germany and during a World War. Possibly WW ONE or WW TWO. The midgets were part of a circus or USO troupe and they entertained soldiers on the daily. This movie is no ordinary movie. In case you didnt here me, there are midgets and they are the stars of the show. At one point during this movie the midget is fondling a child in all her nakedness and there is a sick and twisted scene of muff diving between the midget and the young woman. I am not really sure of the plot, however this was a real movie with no subtitles and again it had midgets. There was alot of midget sexual content along with a story line of war and maybe even peace. The movie is older as I would guess like maybe made in the 70's or 80's. I saw this movie almost in its entirity in the summer of 2000 and all my dreams would come true if this film is located. Ask your friend and your families. Maybe ask your priest or pastor. Definatly ask any midgets you may know. This is urgent as the lives of 4 teenage midgets lie in my hands.

How to Save a Life

I was recently observing the world and came upon a story of hope. The place of where I stumbled upon this is not relevant. The time that the story was told does not matter. The person whom I delegated my ears too is an invisible being for this sake.

It was about HOPE and more specifically about a BUM. For reasons of being politically correct we will say HOMELESS PERSON. Now this poetic justice is a story of not only hope but also the goodness in all of the creatures of the world. In this story there is a boy whom is lost and lets just say it: TOTALLY FUCKED UP BEYOND ALL BELIEF. This boy is 27 years old and had been drinking for 48 hours straight. He had lost his friends, had no money, no cell phone (no beeper), and was at a point in his binge where he could not fathom the thought of moving his body parts any longer. This boy became immovable at a park bench in front of a police station and well PASSED THE FUCK OUT. It was than that hope came in the body of a BUM. A homeless man. A man who possibly had seen it all. A man who could have been your grandfather. A man who may at one time been your boss or even been a man who gave birth to you at any given time. Tonight this man was a BUM and with him was HOPE. He assisted this boy with accumulated data of "you need to move from this spot or the cops will arrest you." Good advice indeed. This bum whom we will name Charlie Bumgardener also offered this boy food. Maybe not a 7 courser, but a cold piece of chicken breast. A cold piece of chicken breast that at the time saved a boys life. This night was not about quantity but instead quality. OF LIFE. Yes readers, a BUM saved a boys life. And a BUM may save your life one day. Be good to BUMS and always know WHERE THE FUCK YOU ARE.