Reprimand

I visualize it everyday of my life. Its like the scene in the first LOTR, when Gandalf sacrifices his being for the sake of the of the fellowship. The future is not known. Its just faith. I mean, we waited a year to find out what really happened that evening in the gates of hell, however the gesture was pure nonetheless. The day was not abnormal. The SUN rose like it did the previous days of that year. And although omnipotence is everywhere, the breeze was very ordinary. There was no scent of imperfection. No Mad Starking Rave. Donuts were made that morning. Coffee was brewed and dialogue was spoken. Birds flew around this morning as if going to smoke a stogie after morning sex. No mouthwash. Than winds. Then fulfillment. Radical. That point of no return. The righteous edge of enlightenment. Indescribable. Thriller. A classic. Vintage. Most would not understand. More than likely a majority. A conductor. A member of the Outsiders and the Rebels. Scientifically proven that winning the lottery is actually worse. BUT that is a given. Tell us something we didn't know. A bluish tone. Blinding metals. Radiance abundance. A Count of Monte Cristo. King Arthur. You know heroes. Literature's finest.

"If all the world hated you, and believed you wicked, while your own conscience approved you, and absolved you from guilt, you would not be without friends."
- Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre

Fuck the Plunger

Does anyone else get embarrassed when buying or borrowing a toilet plunger? I mean everyone shits right? Why did I just feel embarrassed? I mean who gives two or three fucks? Right? Damn. I feel like I can talk, correctly, about the relevance of the Mayan Calendar to the end of the world in 2012 with repeated episodes of Spongebob Squarepants, but this plunger issue baffles me. I mean I felt like eyeballs were all watching me through looking glasses as I paced down Mexican Melrose Place. I don't even know the proper protocol of "full disclosure" when purchasing one. Who the fuck even knows about borrowing. Do you double bag it when buying and bringing to the home of where this instrument I hold in my hand will brew. Is it paper or plastic? Are there special bags maybe? And when borrowing, how does one ask? "Excuse me Jaime, can I use that instrument you usually use to play with your own shit with?" Fuck that shit. Not me. Not ever. Think of all them gosh damn judgements. Then say fuck it and go play with your shit.

My first published newspaper article (POP BOTTLES)

Savanna wins road league game over Magnolia after controversial call

For the Anaheim Independent

In what was an exciting league game from start to finish, the Savanna Rebels (6-4) pulled out a one run victory over the Sentinels of Magnolia 5-4. A bang-bang play in the bottom of the seventh inning, in which the second base umpire called two Sentinels out after a sacrifice bunt and hard slide, squandered the Sentinels bid for a walk off win.

Savanna pitcher Nathan Mathias pitched admirably in relief for the win with four and a third innings of shutout baseball allowing three hits and getting Magnolia to ground into two double plays in both the third and fourth innings. Magnolia Sentinel pitcher Gerardo Adame pitched a complete game going seven innings allowing thirteen hits and five runs.

The Sentinels (4-5) played great defense as well with a diving catch from center fielder Fragoza Giovanni in the top of the fifth inning and two of the three Savanna runners thrown out at second base by catcher Ryan Ortega in the top of the seventh inning to keep the game at a one run deficit.

The second inning was action packed with the Rebels scoring three runs on five singles and one walk with Rebel senior Joseph Rivera starting off the action with a single and finishing the game 4-for-4 with three singles, double, stolen base and one RBI. Savanna catcher AJ Kennedy had a huge triple in the fourth off the Green Monster and scored the winning run off of a Rivera single.

The Sentinels responded with four runs in the second inning and showed great plate discipline taking six walks and a hit by pitch, but could not get the clutch hits with runners in scoring position in the fourth, sixth and seventh innings. The hitting star for the Sentinels was Fragoza Giovanni with a key two out, two run single in the second inning and a sacrifice bunt which led to the controversial call in the bottom of the seventh inning.

After an Adame single, Giovanni hit a sacrifice bunt to the pitcher who then threw to second base for the out and after a hard slide by Adame, in which the umpire ruled Adame slid with his cleats up, the umpire called out the runner at first and foiling any attempts for a Sentinel comeback. The Magnolia shortstop Jordan Thompson than walked and a grounder to short by Kevin Ramirez ended the game and a Savanna Rebel celebration ensued.

After the umpire’s ruling, Magnolia Sentinel coach Marcelo Miranda stormed out of the dugout to question what the umpire saw. Miranda quotes,” the umpire stated he saw cleats in the air and he has a responsibility to protect the players.”

A tough loss for the Sentinels of Magnolia and a great league win for the Rebels of Savanna, but the real winners were the fans for a wonderful afternoon of Orange County High School baseball.

After a weekend of tournament baseball for Magnolia and Savanna, league play continues with the Rebels playing at the Falcons of Santa Ana Valley (0-10) and the Sentinels playing at the Knights of Katella High School (4-4) on April 13^th at 3:15 pm.

Excerpt #1

My life is like a Quentin Tarantino flick. The end is the beginning and the beginning is the end. A flip flop of sorts. A backwards essence of time reversed only for future condolences. I know this is the undeniable outcome of of my existence. When did this start? I answer my own question: When I became a man. I cant exactly pinpoint a date or a specific event, but it stands out in time like a bright yellow cab when you don't need one. It happens like lightning, quick and silent. Nobody knows, not one soul but mine and its conscious is unburdened. This is my story.

My Query Today

I just heard this quote.
“A puff of kif in the morning makes a man as strong as 1,000 camels in the courtyard.”

Could this possibly be true?

Your thoughts?

Hate Crimes

I witnessed a hate crime. And it was towards me. But why? Because I am of Mexican descent. Because I ride a motorcycle? Because I use Hempz? Is it due to the fact I never fully fill up my car with gasoline? Or is it because I fly kites? Did this heinous act occur because of my love for Thundercats? Or was it a hit? Am I a wanted man? Is the fate of the USA in my hands and terrorists want me killed? Am I a secret spy and have lost my memory? Why was a hate crime committed against me? Why? I mean this hate crime was vile. Nasty even. The deviants that constructed this vulgarity against me had to be the worst of the worst. They had to be monsters. One of them had to be named something like "Agent 55" and maybe "Dr. Smoke Monster." It may take me years to recover. What these haters did was out of pure remorse for humanity. Pure remorse for me. Are you ready for the horrific details of this hate crime? THIS IS NOT FOR THE WEAK STOMACHED. These assassins took out my laundry which were drying in a 75 minute cycle and put their laundry in instead. They stole my $1.75. Stole it. And not once but twice. They did this to two of my dryers. These hitmen than had the audacity to put my laundry back in as if nothing ever happened. How much hate do you have to have in your heart to do this criminal act. And again what did I do? Who hired you?
The world is a sad sad place.

Secret Revealed

Its time for me to confess. This is embarrassing too. I absolutely positively with no qualms or doubts love JUSTIN BIEBER. There I said it. Happy now. I have dreams about the kid ok. I love his music. I sing his tunes in the shower. I intentionally google him to get all the latest updates. I follow him on twitter and facebook. I have his pictures on all of my backgrounds. I have recently looked into changing my name to Bieber. I just simply love the lad alright, Not in a Law and Order SVU kind of way, but more in a platonic infatuation for the kids talents. I mean those moves. That voice. And I am not a fan of Canadians. I mean I hate the Toronto Raptors. And when the Bills play in Canada. Come on man. Thank you NFL lock out. But not to worry skeptical judge mentalists, I had this same man crush with Justin Timberlake. Maybe its a Justin thing. Either way it doesn't matter. I HAVE BIEBER FEVER.